“Not only must one learn
to do without someone he had come to feel he could not live without, but he
must endure dagger-thrust to the heart, such as: You deserved to be rejected.
You are not worthy to be loved. You will never be loved. Who would want you?”
“Believe that in the days
of sorrow He is sowing light for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in
heart.”
“When we are depressed or
lonely, sleep is an escape. Maybe our dreams will be sweeter than real life!
But we must also realize that sleep is God’s gift not only to mend our tired
bodies, but our ragged spirits as well.”
“Imagine Elijah sleeping
under that juniper tree. Now look up. Can you imagine God watching over His
servant, with love in His eyes and compassion in His heart? So, too, as you
crawl into your bed with agony, go to sleep under God’s loving eye. That person
may have rejected you. But you will never lack of God’s affectionate care. Like
a mother caressing her slumbering child, let God caress your aching heart.”
“If your heart ache
overwhelms you, sometimes you just want to die. But God gives us the first
principle: Share the burden with others. You need a Jonathan – friend, like
David. This also echoes the principle that even an Elijah needed an Elisha. So
the application is: do you have friends to whom you can share your sorrows
with?”
Like Moses, we must be
honest about how we feel. We might feel that God has afflicted us (remember
Heman’s accusation?) with a broken romance. We shudder gazing at the years
ahead: full of pain and futility. But there is one thing that will keep up
going: the unfailing love of God that satisfies us every morning.
“We wish to have the wife
who will satisfy us. Solomon was a bit more explicit: “May her breast satisfy
you always, may you ever be captivated by her love” (Proverbs 5:19.) There is
nothing wrong with desiring joy in marriage. If we believe Solomon to also have
written Ecclesiastes, he added, “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love”
(9:9.) But our soul – deep satisfaction is not from that person – in fact, not
from career, riches, or anything else – but from God. I’d strongly recommend
you memorize Psalm 90:14-15 and cry it out everytime you yearn to die. God, not
anything else, must be the strength of our hearts (Psalm 73:26). Then spend
time with the Great Satisfier every morning. Let Him so satisfy your heart that
the husband/wife will be a bonus.”
“If you unload your
emotions, angry, bitter words on someone, you may feel better. You had let off
steam. You “got if off your chest.” But such relief lasts only briefly. You’d
realize you have created a bigger problem. Somebody else has been hurt, not
just you. You might as well dump garbage on his head. So if you want to lash
out in anger and bitterness DON’T DO IT! But if you already did, you have to
seek forgiveness.”
“You maybe in your love
life famine. Honestly, I don’t know what will happen to you. I pray that God
will bless you.”
“If you feel that God has
allowed your (romantic) dream to die, lay it inside a box and bury it before
Him. Let Him, in His own time, come to the tomb and resurrect our dream.”
“Don’t shrink from
disappointment. They are God’s choicest gifts to you. Through them, You’ll know
Jesus more intimately. You may regard Him only as a historical figure or
religious leader. Or you have entrusted yourself to Him as your Lord and
Savior. Now, you’ll come to know Him as a Friend, Wonderful Counselor, the
Prince of peace. When people fail you and things don’t make sense, He shows
Himself faithful and true. You discover Him to be the Shepherd of Your soul,
gentle as a lamb, but strong as a lion. To your fragile heart, He commits
Himself as your Rock, your very strength.”
“We usually think we know
what is best for God or how to glorify Him better. We act as if we were His PR
Managers. But He knows how to glorify Himself much better than we do. Sometimes
He doesn’t seem the least bit interested to glorify Himself. Sometimes He may
even seem to contradict His love. His are strange method indeed. But in His
economy, times of silent and disappointment are but stepping-stones to a higher
blessing, a greater glory. You may be carrying a Cross now, but later there
will be a crown. Never forget the higher blessing and the greater glory.”
“Also according to His
design, we are social and sexual beings. Hence even though Adam could have been
totally content with God, God also provided him with Eve. Even though God was
thoroughly pleased with His creation, He still concluded, “It is not good for
the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18 – the favorite text of singles, although in
my view, sometimes abused.) Ideally, then, we would have the delightful
experience of sharing our love thanks with others in community, and especially
with a spouse.”
“It takes sheer, raw faith
to let go of the immediate satisfaction of the false savior. Faith, however,
leads to decision. Abraham had faith in God and he proved it by his obedience
in leaving His country. Similarly, if we truly believe that God satisfies us and
has our best interest, we exercise this faith not only by stopping – yes: cease
and desist, quit cold turkey, or in the biblical term, repent – our compulsive
behavior and begin seeking out the True Lover of our souls.”
“Turn your loneliness into
solitude. Today, in the here and now, your world has been shattered into a
million pieces. To pick them up is like picking up jagged glass: it cuts you as
you go along. You are lonely to the point of rage. But turn that loneliness,
into an advantage. Turn your free time and yes, even your pain, into
opportunities where you can seek God. Learned to embrace the pain as a gift.”
“Be assured, dear friend,
God will heal your emotional wounds. When one is sick, do not self-medicate;
consult your doctor. So, too, as far as your pain is concerned, do not
“self-medicate.” Throw away the placebo of fleeting pleasures. Reject the
sugar-coated poison of sinful escapism. If your heartache is severe, check into
God’s ICU and consult the Great Physician.”
“If we refuse to sin, and
eventually love Him for who He is even if He doesn’t give us our heart’s
desire, then I think we have learned one of the most important points of being
God’s child.”
“Use your pain to draw you
to God, not to drive you away from Him.”
“The darker the night, the
more glorious the morning.”
“The time will come when
it will be just between you and God. All your friends, your support systems,
your ways of escaping the pain will seem useless. God tolerates no rivals. In
due time, He will knock away the other things we are learning on to sustain us
in our pain. He does so not to destroy, but to teach us to draw strength solely
from Him.”
“It is a pattern in
Scripture that God takes something away. Only to replace it with something much
more precious.”
“God will mend a broken
heart if you give Him all the pieces.”
“When you give your
heart’s desire to God and He takes it away, not giving anything in return (at
least, not in the meantime), it is a burn offering, totally consumed. You are
empty. But remember in your emptiness, God seeks to fill you with Himself. You
are empty, but He is everything. That is what He wants you to learn; that in
Him is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11), Grace and truth (John 1:14), even grace
upon grace (John 1:16). You are learning something priceless, though empty, you
have everything.”
“While you may be hurting,
train yourself to look from God’s perspective. He does not inflict heartache
whimsically. There is a purpose for every blow. Some would say it is to prevent
you from marrying the wrong person. More may add is to refine your character
and prepare you for the person He wants you to marry. Whatever reasons they
are, trust that God has very good reasons for allowing your failed romance. Let
this loosen your grip on your pain. Or bitterness. Or anger.”
“Maybe God has not given
you the husband/wife because He knows you are not ready yet. If God gives that
person to you right now, you’d only hurt yourself and that person. You may not
yet be ready because you have to learn humility. When you are loveless and
dateless, which “umble” are you – “grumble” or “humble?”
“The godly man/woman must
know what kind of person he/she must marry and is willing to wait for God to
bring that person to him/her. If you found such person, that is a great
blessing!”
“If you are worrying about
your growing old without a life partner, trust God. If and when He finally
brings a spouse into your life, the timing is part of the package. Let Him
dictate not only the identity of the blessing but also the schedule. I am sure
you heard the line, “God gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him.”
If you believe in the goodness of God, give Him the choice not only for who,
but also when.”
“Go for a God-concerned,
character-based courtship.”
“Many times we try to
invent our own kind of love. We even draw on our idealization of love. But now
you have Christ as a role model on how to love people. He is the
personification of love. Not just love, but loyal love. How many of us thank
Him that despite our foolishness, He still loves us? We do things that we are
not proud of, yet we are secure in His love. In John 13:1, we learn that Jesus
loves us to the very end. Remember: The secret of loving is to be a loving
person; and being a loving person comes from being loved by Christ.”
“To love well, we must be
loved well. And nobody loves you better than Christ. If your experience of
God’s love is lacking, then you will have difficulty loving another person.
Therefore, the task in the meantime is to nurture that love relationship with
Christ.”
“There is no shortcut to
character building. It takes time. This might explain why Lucy and I got
married in our 40’s. Frankly, my character was also formed while going through
the heart break. After tasting pain, I certainly don’t want to inflict it on
others, let alone my wife. It also births a spirit of empathy and long
suffering. Thus again, be grateful for your heart break. God is shaping you
into the right person for the woman He has in mind for you.”
“Sadly, many people get
married so young, their character didn’t even have a chance to form. Even more
tragic, many people get married without knowing the Christ who wishes to
imprint His gracious and holy character in their hearts.”
“My spiritual growth was
flourishing. Through that small group and training class, I was connecting with
people in meaningful ways. We shared our questions and opinions, our joys and
sorrows, our victories and defeats. I had a grand time using my spiritual gift
of teaching. Most of all, the pain that darkened my MBA studies had become more
and more a distant memory. One day, I knew I was emotionally healed when I was
able to say that girl’s name without any bitterness.”
From the Book: How to Mend a Broken Heart
Written By: Nelson T. Dy
God Bless Us..
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