Ito yung anak naming lagi kong napagbabantaan ๐ ๐
You know what I mean mga Inay ๐
“Pag di mo inubos yan di na kita bibigyan next time”
“Pag di ka pa huminto Grace papaluin na kita”
“No bedtime stories if you won’t cooperate”
Yung iba satin mahilig pang mandamay ng iba tao ๐
“Sumbong kita sa pulis!”
“Sumbong kita kay Pastor!”
“Hala ka andyan na mumu!”
“Papakakain kita sa monster!”
Most of the time nakakaubos na talaga ng pasensya. Lalo pag paulit-ulit tapos madami ka ng anak ๐ Ang hirap maging kalmado. Ang default natin laging malaki mata, mataas na boses at mga gestures na talagang namang hindi pleasing sa mata ng mga anak natin.
Ofcourse we don’t want to just please them, we need to be tough and firm but it doesn’t mean that we can’t do it calmly and nicely.
Yes! I heard you. Mahirap maging nice kapag matigas talaga ulo ๐ I’ve been there. Sa tatlong anak ko napakadami ko ng learning curves, teaching moments and mga “golden learnings” along the way.
Here’s what I’ve learned na masasabi kong proven and effective:
✅Ibahin ang background music sa isip mo. Nakakatawa mang isipin pero most of the time “shark music” or “horror music” yung nasa isip natin. Try nating gawing comic or calm yung isipin nating music. Siguradong mag-iiba tono at delivery natin.
✅Focus on the way we interact with our kids. Let’s ask ourselves, kung tayo ang nasa sapatos nila, talaga bang mapapasunod tayo or matatakot lang tayo? Mapipilitan nalang na tayo sumunod or buong puso tayong susunod dahil nagets natin “why” we need to obey?
✅Wag mo punuin ang plate mo. Most of the time if we are too consumed by work and other things, parang nagiging burden or task nalang sa atin ang parenting. We don’t get to enjoy every single moment kasi marami tayong iniisip at marami tayong ginagawa. Para tayong laging nagmamadali kaya wala tayong time to explain thoroughly the “whys” in every command. Basta gusto natin sumunod lang sila. Period. Kaya ending, they obey blindly, without understanding the “why” so ang mangyayari uulit lang ng uulit. Walang learning. Hindi effective ang discipline.
✅Connect first. Grow your relationship with you child and prioritize it above all else (syempre una si hubby/wifey). Alam nyo bang mas sumusunod ang bagets if they feel connected to us? When we engage them in a pleasant and playful way, mas nakikipag-cooperate sila.
✅The “how” matters.
“Get in bed now or you won’t get any stories.”
or
“If you get in bed now, we’ll have time to read. But if you don’t get in bed right away, we’ll run out of time and have to skip reading stories.”
O diba? Ibang-iba yung feel nung pangalawa.
Both set a boundary.
Both deliver the same request.
But they feel completely different.
Most of the time andun tayo sa “shortcut” and “instant” e. Kasi we’re thinking na may bukas pa naman or may ibang opportunity pa para magpaliwanag at maging kalmado.
But no, that’s what “intentional parenting” means. You live with urgency knowing that parenting and everything is momentary. And because we have that mindset, nagiging intentional tayo sa lahat ng bagay.
Tandaan, the “how” determines what our children feel about us and themselves. Sa ganitong paraan din nila natututunang makitungo sa iba. Pag lagi tayong tunog demanding, nananakot, laging galit or iritado, isang araw ganun din sila makipag-interact at communicate sa iba.
We can be much more effective disciplinarians if our “how” is respectful, calm and playful. It will make a BIG difference. Worth it syang effortan mga Inay. Promise!
Again.
Connect first.
Explain the “why”.
Focus on the “how”.
