DO NOT FORCE THEM TO SHARE

Growing up lumaki ako sa perspective na dapat ang bata marunong mag-share, na kapag di sya nag-share madamot sya, na kapag di sya nag-sheshare di naturuan ng magulang. 

Ganyan din ba perspective nyo mga Inay? 

As I read yung book na “No Drama Discipline” by Daniel Siegel, the more I understand yung mga matatagal ko ng “whys” pagdating sa parenting and discipline. May mga “myth” akong nabasag at lalong na-open yung mata ko sa reality ng growth and development ng mga bata. 

We can’t force them to share because their brain is not fully developed yet. Especially sa maliliit na bata, lower part ng brain palang nila ang nagdedevelop. Para mas magets nyo i-short cut ko: 

📍LOWER BRAIN 

✅breathing 

✅anger 

✅fear

✅blinking 

📍UPPER BRAIN 

✅planning 

✅thinking

✅imagining 

So ibig sabihin basic functions lang ang nasa lower brain. Sa upper brain naman andun na yung more sophisticated and complex thinking pati mga emotional and relational skills. 

The upper brain takes time to develop. Research and study shows na by mid 20s fully nadedevelop ang upper part ng brain natin. 

So di pala talaga makatarungan kung papagalitan, papaluin at paparusahan ang bata kapag di sya nag-sheshare. 

Hindi sya madamot, hindi lang kaya pa ng brain nya. 

Hindi ka walang kwentang magulang, hindi palang fully developed ang brain nya. 

Hindi siya spoiled or bad kid, growing lang talaga ang brain nya. 

Now the question is, ganun naman pala, e di wag ng turuan kasi di pa kaya. 

My answer is NO. We will teach them (though modeling) but we will not force them. That’s two different things. 

Ofcourse there are times that they will share, may mga times na hindi, so we need to manage our expectations. 

Itong development ng lower and upper brain din ang dahilan kung bakit laging nag-aaway ang mga maliliit nating mga anak 😂 Adult nga especially mag-asawa madalas pa ding mag-away kahit fully developed na ang brain e. Hehe though ibang usapan yun.  Hehe

Kaya we need a lot of patience and grace and even wisdom talaga as we discern and teach and nurture our kids. Making sure that we are creating an environment where they can grow and mature as we lovingly teach them skills that they will need in this life. 

Sabi nga sa Proverbs 22:6, 

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Still, kahit hindi pa sila developmentally ready, always ready naman tayo to model the characters that we want them to have. Remember, more is caught than taught. We will not force them, but we will try our best to inspire and influence them. ♥️