THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN FINDING SOMEONE WHO WILL WANT YOU…

…Or being sad over someone who doesn’t.

There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t’ need to be painful or empty.

You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own.

Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot.

Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, it promise.

BY: EMERY ALLEN

NOT ALL TOXIC PEOPLE ARE CRUEL AND UNCARING

Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions.

Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us.

And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your well-being a priority.

Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful. You have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.

BY: DANIELL KOEPKE

CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?

You don’t have to be in a relationship.

I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone.

But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, isn’t the only love deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever. And yet the friendship is the one people ignore.

I have heard so often, “Nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets – they say, yes okay, but it doesn’t count.

Of course it counts; love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing – not even a date – out of you?

It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.

The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one.” But maybe “the one” is just you, instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.

Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.

BY: SINGLE SERVING SIZE // R.I.D AKA INSKINNED

YOU ARE ENOUGH

It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth.

But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.

They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring – they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay.

It’s not evidence of some fundamental falling on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world.

But the fact that you are – that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others – is a strength.

Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need.

Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too need. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind.

And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough.

BY: DANIELL KOEPKE

YOU EXIST AND THEREFORE YOU MATTER

You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough.

When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that.

Your worth isn’t contingent upon other’s people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent.

You exist, and therefore, you matter.

You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space.

You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.

BY: DANIELL KOEPKE

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO PEOPLE WILL TALK

Girl gets pregnant at 20: People say, “She’s too young to have a baby.”

Girl gets pregnant at 35: “She’s risking her baby’s health.”

Girl considers abortion: “Can’t believe she’s just going to get rid of the baby.”

Girl keeps the baby: “How’s she’s going to afford that baby?”

Girl gets benefits: “Wow, she’s so lazy.”

Girl gets a job: “How can she stand to be away from her baby all day like that?”

Girl becomes a stay at home mom: “She probably doesn’t do anything all day.”

Girl stops hanging out with friends: “She totally changed when she had that baby.”

Girl goes out: “She’s always partying.”

Girl wants to leave crappy bf: “Nobody knows what it means to work things out anymore.”

Girl wants to stay with crappy bf: “She’s dumb.”

Girl eats burger: “Fatty.”

Girl eats salad: “Must be one of those starving health nuts.”

Girl is overprotective of her child: “You need to relax, helicopter mom.”

Girl lets her child play without her: “Where is the kid’s mom?”

Girl spanks her kid: “Call protective services!”

Girl refuses to spank: “Her kids are gonna be such brats.”

No matter what you do, people will talk. So do what is best for you and your baby, not other people.

BY: ELITE READERS

DEAR YHANG..

Wag magpalamon sa galit ng puso. Tandaan mo na mahirap ipasok ang sinulid sa butas ng karayom. Wag mo hayaang baguhin ka ng galit sa puso mo. Hindi mo kailangan maging masama o gumawa ng masama para lang maipasok ang sinulid sa butas ng karayom. Tandaan mo, hindi sagot ang tanong sa isa pang tanong. Magpatawad. Umunawa. Matutong magluto ng masarap na maling. Tatlong kilong maling, tatlong kilong sibuyas, bumili ng cornstarch, haluan ng egg white, set aside for 2 minutes. Good for big family servings. Hindi excuse ang “baka kasi hindi pa golden brown yung maling eh” kaya hindi ka na iintindi at magpapatawad. Mali yun. Kung naging masama ka dahil hindi pantay-pantay ang pagkaka-slice ng maling, wala ka na rin ipinagkaiba sa kanila. Just be nice. Control your temper. Drink Nido before bed time. May mga battle na worth fighting for. Yung ibang battle, wala namang saysay, sayang lang kung papatulan mo kung wala ka namang galit diyan sa puso mo. Wala naman kasing ginawang masama sayo ang puso mo. Bakit ka magagalit sa kanya?

Love,

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