Posted by Fitz Villafuerte under Life Lessons, Mindsetting on February 3, 2016
“Aren’t
we supposed to be great by this time?” asks Mace in the Palanca Award-winning
screenplay and movie, That Thing Called
Tadhana.
The
film had a lot of hugot lines about love, which resonated in
many. But this line was the one that struck me most and my favorite moment in
the movie because I asked the same question to a friend years ago.
Last
weekend, I got reminded of this question while having dinner with a couple of
friends. One of them candidly shared that she feels stuck and lost in her life.
“I’m
not happy with my job anymore, but I don’t know where to go,” she confesses.
“How do you figure it out? How do you find out what you’re meant to do in your
life?”
Do you
feel lost?
If you
feel stuck or lost in your life, then I have good news and bad news for you.
The
good news is that you’re not alone, and it’s absolutely normal to feel this
way. The bad news however, is that you will always feel lost in your life no
matter what you do and where you go.
At 20,
you will feel lost in your career path. At 30, family life will mess with your
sense of direction. At 40, you’ll feel lost in your life’s purpose. At 50,
you’ll dread not knowing what to do when you retire.
And
age isn’t a factor here for I’ve met 20-year-olds who are already lost in their
life’s purpose, and 40-year-olds who are still questioning their chosen career
path.
However,
hopefully when you’re in your 60’s, you’re already smart enough to know that it
doesn’t really matter if you feel lost.
Don’t
wait to be 60
So
here’s the thing, accept the fact that you will forever feel lost on a lot of
things — your career, your personal life, your purpose, etc. And the earlier
you accept this, the sooner your life can become better.
The
key is to simply move forward. Get yourself unstuck and live your life because
sooner or later, you will find your way.
More
importantly, don’t feel guilty about being lost because at best, it will make
your life interesting, challenging, and beautiful. Feeling lost and eventually
finding your way will be the best story you’ll tell your grandchildren.
How to
get unstuck
So how
do you actually move forward? And how do you avoid going the wrong direction?
Below are three things that you can do.
Get
your bearings
Study your daily, weekly, and monthly routine. What activities are you always busy with? Which among them contributes the most to your lost or stuck feeling?
Study your daily, weekly, and monthly routine. What activities are you always busy with? Which among them contributes the most to your lost or stuck feeling?
We do
a lot of things everyday. Some of them are important, and some of them are just
activities that help us escape.
Simplify
your routine
Are there activities that you can eliminate? Tasks you can delegate? Stop doing things that don’t add real value to your life.
Are there activities that you can eliminate? Tasks you can delegate? Stop doing things that don’t add real value to your life.
The
goal here is to create free time for yourself; time that will allow you to
explore new and different doors.
Try
new things
What are the things that you’ve always wanted to do but are afraid to do? Or maybe, you just didn’t have time to pursue? This is now your chance.
What are the things that you’ve always wanted to do but are afraid to do? Or maybe, you just didn’t have time to pursue? This is now your chance.
Use
the free time you created to explore what’s outside your comfort zone. Learn
new skills, explore new hobbies, meet new people — try new things.
And
that is how you move forward when you’re feeling lost.
Don’t
worry about going into the wrong direction because in life, there’s really no
such thing. That unfamiliar turn, that unexpected corner, that abandoned trail,
that foreign street — that’s where you’ll eventually find your way.
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