IF YOU TRUST GOD YOU WILL NEVER BE AFRAID

If you trust God, you’ll never fear the unknown because you know that His light will guide you through the darkest nights. You know that His wisdom will help you when you’re lost. You know that His way may not be the easiest way but it’s the best way. It’s the only way that will protect you from what could hinder you and the only way that will protect you from what could harm you.

If you trust God, you’ll understand that you didn’t really ‘lose’ anything or anyone. God took things and people away from you for a reason. He knows when certain things have served their purpose. The messengers He sent you have taught you the lessons you needed to learn. Your mistakes made you a stronger person. The pain you went through brought you closer to Him. You never really lose because God only takes away what could destroy you. He takes away what could break your heart even more.

If you trust God, you’ll never lose hope. Even when your whole world is falling apart. Even if you feel like you can never get anything right. Even if it feels like everyone is abandoning you. God is always with you. God is making room for something bigger in your life when He closes so many doors at the same time. He’s telling you that you need to change your path and your life and He will bring you this change. I learned that a lot of things in life will make you feel that God is not fair but if you look back on all the times you thought God was being unfair, you will realize that He was actually preparing you for something wonderful. Everytime He made life harder, He was preparing you for something that will make your life significantly easier.

If you trust God, you’ll never question Him. You’ll always have faith in Him even when you don’t understand Him. You’ll have faith in His timing even if it’s been years and the clock is tickling and you just can’t wait anymore. You’ll always know deep in your heart that you’re not ready for what you’re asking for. You’ll understand that the universe is not working against you but is working for you because you know that the universe doesn’t just give you what you’re asking for right away. It gives you what you need at a time when you can appreciate it and love it. At a time when you won’t take it for granted. At a time when you’ve healed from your past and your pain and you’re praying for all the right reasons.

If you trust God, you’ll be happy. Happiness won’t be such an elusive concept. It won’t be something you have to chase. It won’t be something you have to work hard for. You’ll simply be content and happy with His plans. You’ll be happy that you don’t have to worry about everything because you believe in His mercy and His power. You’ll be happy once you stop getting so attached to life and start getting more attached to God because with God by your side, there’s really nothing to fear. There’s nothing to worry about. You’ll never be alone. You’ll never be sad.

-thought catalog

God Bless Us..

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com

IF YOU CAN’T LOVE ME I’LL MAKE YOU MISS ME

One day, you’ll search for me in everyone you meet but I won’t be found.

I don’t know when the day will come. Maybe I’ll be holding the hand of someone, so consumed by the attention of another. I won’t even notice when we cross paths. That is until you say my name. I’ll be brought back to the memory of you and all we were but more than that all we weren’t because you never gave me the light of day. You gave me bits and pieces of some half-hearted love story that left me nothing but confused. Some love story where I loved someone who couldn’t love me back.

But one day my name will come up and you’ll realize how much you miss me.

You’ll miss the little conversations where we used to only talk about you. You’ll miss the texts you used to ignore followed by double one. You’ll replay voice mails just to hear the sound of my voice. You’ll find yourself looking at my pictures remembering when you were a main character in my life or at least I wanted you to be. You’ll remember how I told you every detail of what was going on. And you’ll miss having someone to tell those things to. Someone who genuinely cared about your well-being and happiness.

So much so, I put it before my own. You’ll miss the messages that popped up during a busy day. You’ll miss the snaps late at night saying, “I hope you got home safe.” You’ll miss someone caring even though it wasn’t reciprocated. You’ll simply miss someone being around that you took for granted. And when those moments of missing me hit you like a ton bricks, what you’ll regret is not realizing what you had when you could have had it. Not giving me the chance I probably deserved.

Missing people in their absence is the worst way to miss someone. It haunts you really.

The what-ifs creep up on you late at night when you’re laying in a bed alone or worse laying there next to someone who makes you feel alone. Someone who treats you the way you treated me.

And maybe you’ll text me just to see how I am. Maybe you’re simply curious if I still care. I probably always will. The difference between the two of us was I meant everything I said while you fumbled through confusion trying to figure out how you felt about me. You didn’t want to care but you did. I could see it. I never had to wonder about you, though. I never had to question it. And I never made you question how I felt.

I looked at you with the same confidence I hope would be returned. But I couldn’t keep waiting for that. I couldn’t keep hoping and wishing and wanting and working for something I wasn’t getting. Even the best people get tired of trying.

And you might have hurt me initially but in the long run, I’ll move on and get over you. But I’m the type of person, people miss even if it takes a long time to get there. I’m the type of person, people don’t quite forget. One day, your phone is going to go off and you’ll wish it was my name across the screen. One day, you’ll hear songs you used to like until you think of me when you hear them. Then you’ll find yourself changing the station on the radio. One day, I swear you’ll miss me and when that day come, I’ll be gone.

-thought catalog

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com

I’M SLOWLY LEARNING TO TRUST GOD MORE THAN MY FEELINGS

I’m slowly learning that my feelings don’t always make the right decisions or feel the right emotions. Sometimes they feel things out of loneliness, out of a certain need or just living out of fantasy in my head. I’m slowly learning that my gut can sometimes be deceitful. I’m slowly learning that my heart can be fickle. Longing for a sweet word, enamored by a simple gesture or chasing things for temporary happiness. I’m slowly learning that when it comes to love, my heart still can’t tell when it’s right. My heart still doesn’t know how to fully trust. My heart is still healing and sometimes the fear of being broken again stops my heart from feeling anything at all.

I’m slowly learning that my feelings change. I wake up every day a different person. Sometimes I’m emotionally available and sometimes I’m guarded. Sometimes I wake up with the urge to give and take care of everyone I love and sometimes I wake up with a need to feel loved and taken care of. Sometimes I feel like I’m ready for love and sometimes I feel like I still have a lot of things to figure out about myself first. Sometimes I know what I want for sure and sometimes I have no idea. Which is why I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted from overthinking and trying to figure out what everything means.

I’m tired of reading too much into the signs and trying to understand what the universe is trying to tell me. I’m tired of asking myself too many questions I’ll never have the answers to. But thankfully, I have someone to lean on. I have someone to trust. I have someone who handles everything I can’t. I have God.

And I’m slowly learning how to trust Him over my feelings. I’m slowly learning how to follow Him over my heart. Because my feelings shouldn’t be all over the place and my heart shouldn’t feel heavy or uneasy. My gut shouldn’t be dishonest and I shouldn’t be so confused if something is meant to be. Maybe the problem is I’m still getting attached to things that are not meant for me and God is still trying to teach me how to let go.

I’m slowly learning how to live beyond my feelings, beyond the life that I know, beyond the lessons I’ve learned. I’m slowly learning that my feelings can be transient because they’re always attached to how I’m feeling at a certain moment, they’re always dependent on my current state of my mind and I’m learning that if I want to have calm and stable life, I can’t give in to my feelings, I have to surrender to God, His plans and His timing. I have to trust Him more than I trust my feelings. I have to trust His destination even if I don’t know how He’s going to take me there.

-thought catalog

God Bless Us..

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com

I’M SLOWLY ACCEPTING THAT I’M BROKEN AND READY TO HEAL

This is me accepting the fact that I feel damage and broken beyond repair. My heart is shattered into parts, I feel the pain, and everything is complicated. I feel lost and confused. I don’t know what’s going to happen next and I don’t want to know it either. I just want to let everything happen the way it should and I will only go through one day at a time. I understand that I’m broken and I need to heal. I know exactly that I should move on and the only way to heal my wounds is to accept its pain as I forgive myself along the way. I’m slowly accepting myself who was too easy in trusting people and giving my heart to other people. I am forgiving myself for being too clumsy on giving my heart, on falling in love, on making mistakes in choosing the wrong ones, for being hurt over and over again. I have learned my own lessons and now I know exactly that I should love people more without having any expectations. I understand that love should make me stronger instead of feeling fragile and the only way to do it is to love without expecting any reciprocation. I’m slowly forgiving myself for always letting people chose me as their second best.

I’m forgiving myself who always been taken for granted, simply because I always present for them through thick and thin. I’m accepting myself for being honest and loyal even to the ones who treated me like shit. Now I know exactly that I should value my own self-worth and I’m not scared of getting out of those toxic relationships. I understand that I should be treated the same way I’ve treat other people with kindness just because.

I’m slowly accepting myself who was always in doubt and giving other people mixed signals. Maybe this whole time, I was the reason on why people have walked away from my life or maybe, I was the one who has always walked away from theirs. I’m forgiving myself for taking other people’s kindness for granted. I have learned that I should give my attention and be more grateful for the ones who still stay beside me instead of mourning those who left me behind. I’m forgiving myself for being too scared of saying what I genuinely felt towards other people. I know that I should have been unspoken and those feelings which have been wasted, just because I was valuing my own pride more than honesty. From now on, I will no longer live my life behind my ego as I understand that people should know what I really feel towards them. I’m slowly accepting the way life has separated me with the ones I loved, broke my heart because of those rejections, and made me feel so lonely even in the place full of people. But I’m also accepting and trusting the way life will mend my broken heart and give countless lessons for me to grow wiser.

I’m accepting the fact that most of the times, I don’t know what’s good enough for me and the universe knows best. I might be broken now, but I know I will be just fine.

This I me accepting that I’m broken beyond repair and I’m still on my way to heal myself. I accept the pain, the hurt, the bad memories, the loneliness, and the despair. I accept myself who can’t always be strong and I’m slowly learning that it’s totally okay to say, “I’m not okay.” From now on, I will love my brokenness and be proud of it; this is me accepting my own brokenness in order to completely heal.

-thought catalog

God Bless Us..

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com

I’M GIVING ALL MY PROBLEMS TO GOD

I’m giving Him my weaknesses. I’m giving Him all the problems I can’t solve and all the hardships I can’t handle. I’m giving Him everything on my plate because it’s getting too heavy to carry by myself. I’m handing Him all my problems because I’m done trying to pretend like I can solve them all or figure it all out. I’m trying to pretend like I don’t need Him and His guidance. I’m done trying to depend on people when He’s the only one I should really depend on. He’s the only one who can truly rescue me.

I’m working on myself but I also need Him to tell me what to do. I need Him to guide me. I need Him to show me if I’m on the right track and I need Him to tell me when to stop, when to go and when to start over.

I’m giving God my future because I don’t think I know what’s right for me anymore. I don’t think I understand how the universe works. I don’t think I have enough wisdom to know which path is right for me. I want to follow the path God has for me. I want to follow His directions. I want to go wherever He wants me to go not where I want to go. I want Him to show me where I belong because I’m just a lost soul right now.

I’m giving God my fears because I can’t sleep at night when I’m thinking about everything that could possibly wrong. I can’t enjoy my life when I’m so afraid of tomorrow or what it may bring. I’m giving God my fears because I need Him to give me the faith I need to be content. I need Him to make me feel safe. I need His security so I can venture into the unknown with open arms.

I’m handing God everything I can’t handle. I’m giving God everything I don’t understand. I’m giving all my burdens to God because I’m falling and He’s the only one who can catch me. I’m relying on God to get me through all the anxiety, the confusion and the pain. I’m done trying to act like I know what I’m doing. I’m done trying to carry everything and act like it’s not burdening me.

I’m giving all my problems to God because He’s the only one who can give me the solution. The only one who can give me the right answer. He’s the only one who can truly fix my life and fixed me.

-thought catalog

God Bless Us..

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com

I WAS CHASING ALL THE WRONG THINGS

For the longest time, I thought that love would be this answer I was searching for. I’ll admit, I felt like I was behind in this race for forever. There were people around me getting married, having children, starting their lives with a special person on their arm – and where was i? I was constantly plagued by all the things I didn’t have, rather than seeing where I was. Which was in the perfect place for growth.

For the longest time, I fell into relationships foolishly. I gave my heart away like it was a slice of pizza – something to consumed, and consumed quickly before the flavor run out. I was always with someone, always searching, never content to simply be with myself. And, of course, I didn’t see it that way. I happened to fall into people and they happened to be perfect at the time. To me, it was as simple as that. But I was chasing all the wrong things.

-thought catalog

God Bless Us..

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com

I STILL THANK YOU FOR LEAVING ME

– setting me free for the right one. Because despite the heartbreak you caused me, I still believe in love. I still believe that there’s someone who can genuinely love me. Someone who can commit to me and consider me his forever person. Someone who will pursue me the best way. Someone who never leaves. So thank you for leaving when I have deeply fallen in love with you. I have learned so much from the pain that I went through.

-thought catalog

God Bless Us..

cabreraflorina.blogspot.com

ios.florinac@gmail.com