One day, you’ll search for me in
everyone you meet but I won’t be found.
I don’t know when the day will come.
Maybe I’ll be holding the hand of someone, so consumed by the attention of
another. I won’t even notice when we cross paths. That is until you say my
name. I’ll be brought back to the memory of you and all we were but more than
that all we weren’t because you never gave me the light of day. You gave me
bits and pieces of some half-hearted love story that left me nothing but
confused. Some love story where I loved someone who couldn’t love me back.
But one day my name will come up and
you’ll realize how much you miss me.
You’ll miss the little conversations
where we used to only talk about you. You’ll miss the texts you used to ignore
followed by double one. You’ll replay voice mails just to hear the sound of my
voice. You’ll find yourself looking at my pictures remembering when you were a
main character in my life or at least I wanted you to be. You’ll remember how I
told you every detail of what was going on. And you’ll miss having someone to
tell those things to. Someone who genuinely cared about your well-being and
happiness.
So much so, I put it before my own.
You’ll miss the messages that popped up during a busy day. You’ll miss the
snaps late at night saying, “I hope you got home safe.” You’ll miss someone
caring even though it wasn’t reciprocated. You’ll simply miss someone being
around that you took for granted. And when those moments of missing me hit you
like a ton bricks, what you’ll regret is not realizing what you had when you
could have had it. Not giving me the chance I probably deserved.
Missing people in their absence is
the worst way to miss someone. It haunts you really.
The what-ifs creep up on you late at
night when you’re laying in a bed alone or worse laying there next to someone
who makes you feel alone. Someone who treats you the way you treated me.
And maybe you’ll text me just to see
how I am. Maybe you’re simply curious if I still care. I probably always will.
The difference between the two of us was I meant everything I said while you
fumbled through confusion trying to figure out how you felt about me. You
didn’t want to care but you did. I could see it. I never had to wonder about
you, though. I never had to question it. And I never made you question how I
felt.
I looked at you with the same
confidence I hope would be returned. But I couldn’t keep waiting for that. I
couldn’t keep hoping and wishing and wanting and working for something I wasn’t
getting. Even the best people get tired of trying.
And you might have hurt me initially
but in the long run, I’ll move on and get over you. But I’m the type of person,
people miss even if it takes a long time to get there. I’m the type of person,
people don’t quite forget. One day, your phone is going to go off and you’ll
wish it was my name across the screen. One day, you’ll hear songs you used to
like until you think of me when you hear them. Then you’ll find yourself
changing the station on the radio. One day, I swear you’ll miss me and when
that day come, I’ll be gone.
-thought catalog
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