SELF-ESTEEM

I wrote her off for the tenth time today

And practice all the things I would say

But she came over I lost my nerve

I took her back and made her dessert

Now I know I’m being used

That’s okay man

Cause I like the abuse

I know she’s playing with me

That’s okay cause

I got no self-esteem

We make plans to go out a night

I wait till 2 then I turn out the light

All the rejections got me so slow

If she keeps it up

I just might tell her no

Chorus:

When she’s saying that she wants only me

Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends

When she’s saying that I’m like a disease

Then I wonder how much more I can spend

Well I guess I should speak up for myself

But I really think it’s better this way

The more you suffer

The more it shows you really care

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now I’ll relate this little bit

That happens more than I’d like to admit

Late at night she knocks on my door

Drunk again and looking to score

Now I know I should say no

But that’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go

I may be dumb but I’m not a dweeb

I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem

(Repeat Chorus)

Any fan of rock music would be familiar with the band Offspring. The band’s album titled SMASH was what gave them the 1^st taste of true success, and it sold over 8 million copies around the world. Self-esteem was one of the tracks on this album, and as the name suggests, it speaks of the importance of self-esteem. To be precise, it speaks of the destruction that low self-esteem can cause in your life. Here is a little more about the song:

This song speaks about a man who is trapped in a relationship that is destructive to his own self. The relationship is with a woman he loves. It speaks of a woman that the man has written off and wants to leave, but being an emotionally weaker person, he just cannot do it when he is face to face with this woman. Rather, he spoils her when he sees her, thinking that he may have been wrong about her all along. The man then goes on to say that later he is confident that she is using him and he still doesn’t do a thing about it. He has begun to enjoy the feeling of low self-esteem. Although this man knows that the woman is just playing around with his emotions he does not do a thing about it, because he himself has written himself off as a person with low self-esteem.

The singer then speaks of the man making plans to take his lady friend out in the evening. She totally disregards his plans and does not care to even tell him that she doesn’t want to go out. After waiting till the middle of the night, the man feels rejected and abused once again, and feels that he may yet leave her if she keeps treating him this way. So we see a repetition of feelings of rejection and abuse, and still no effort on the man’s part to help himself get out of this destructive relationship.

We then are told that the woman lies to this man that she loves him, while she sleeps with his friends now and then. One can only imagine the destruction this piece of information can cause to the poor man’s psyche. The man fools himself into believing that the more he suffers the more his love for the woman is proved, and so he remains stuck in this vicious cycle of abuse and forgiveness.

Yet this is only a song, but you would be surprised to see the number of people who are stuck in such cycle of events, and the popularity of the song is proof of the existence of this large number of people. This song well explains the state of mind of a weak person who is in an abusive relationship with an emotionally stronger person. The truth is that no one can hurt you unless you let them. Forgiveness is not wrong. But forgive for the right reason, not because you are too weak to the other person – that is just insecurity and not the right motive for forgiveness. Make sure your self-esteem remains in tack, and you will never see such a situation in your life.

TAKEN FROM: WINGS OF SUCCESS