Saturday, April 1, 2017

MY BIRTHDAY 2ND DIARY 2017

WRITER YNA

The day I left my vocation as a Church fulltime staff, my world broke into pieces. As a result, my intense passion to serve God melts. I felt that I’m not worthy anymore to be seen in the Church doing even the most unrecognizable work. I even lost my desire in social sites especially fb for the fear that people will accuse me and put guilt in my heart.

I was overwhelmed with grief. My grief weigh heavily on me. Mourning embraced me like a dark shroud. When no one is looking, my face crumples as if begging to weep. My heart is like a head weight. I am weary of carrying myself around. I am haunted. Numb. Lost.. I really desiring that the Lord will turn the page of my life, that I may finally see blessing and restoration. As I stand alone in my grief and losses, I hope that God’s restoration will come. Mayhap not spectacularly but quietly. Such then when it is finally  revealed. I will be surprised that it has been there all along. Who is to say, God will turn the page of my life  not with a loud and frantic shuffle, but with a gentle turn of His fingers.

He already knows what lies beyond the page. After all, He is the kind and and gracious Author, and knowing the wonders He has in store for me, as He turns the page –

… He smiles.

It was then one morning, while uttering a prayer inside a vehicle, God spoke to me very gentle,"My precious child, you cannot change the past, but you can change your response to the past. You must entrust your wounded yesterdays in My hands. I Am your Great Redeemer. Let your gratitude no longer be of regret or self-castigation. Rather, let it be one of a mellowed though bittersweet trust on Me who loves you to show Myself gracious and compassionate. Use your past to draw near to Me, not to draw yourself away from Me.”

writer yna/cabreraflorina.blogspot.com/ios.florinac@gmail.com


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