INFJ5

My life is just one constant battle between wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely.

Alone, inside my house, my sanctuary, my peace. Contented at peace. I am not lonely here; the places my mind wanders know who I am. And we are all friends. Among, the energy suckers of the world of the cruel, the psychopaths and narcissists, that is when my loneliness sets in. I am a stranger in the middle of such people. It is hard to live in the world that sees the comfort of ones own surroundings as lonely and being surrounded by groups as happiness. For the mind of the introvert, and of the empathy, we are never lonely when we are alone.

Alone and lonely are not the same! I’m alone most of the time but infrequently lonely. I wish people would stop equating them or presenting them as though lonely is an inherent side effect of being alone. Remember, the worst loneliness is found surrounded by the wrong people.

INFJ’s are gifted with words; inspiring, meaningful and rhythmic.

In the deep night, while others sleep, my mind wanders far off the edges of the universe, into the realms of the unknown. It wanders into puzzle and problems, seeking to find solutions for each one or replaying over each day events to see if somehow, someway, I may have said or did something wrong. When it wanders so far I cannot stop it, I can only wish for a stop button so that I could finally sleep.

Now if my brain would switch off and stop wandering at night, that would be great!

I have loved others in the deepest recessed of my heart, far more than many others, even if it is never reciprocated. I have felt the deep fears and sadness of others, when bombarded by their emotional states. My own emotional combined with my need for rational thought, push me forward through the world. Who else could live in constant contradiction? In love, I have been accused of being weak, however, in love, in my emotions, I prove my strength.

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