Last night I had a moment where I
felt that God was not listening to me or maybe He doesn’t really understand me
because I’ve been asking for the same things for too long and for some reason
I’m still not getting them. For some reasons, He wants to keep me waiting. For
some reason, He keeps me making the lessons harder.
At first, I thought maybe I didn’t
articulate what I wanted accurately. I looked up prayers and talked to Him in
different languages and asked Him for what I wanted in many different ways
because I thought that if I was able to perfect my words and my prayers, it
will make a difference. Like maybe He’d pay more attention if I had the right
words to say.
I thought that if I found the perfect
prayer, God won’t say no. But then realized God knows what’s in your heart
whether you say it or not. God knows what you want without saying a word. God
doesn’t need reminders. God doesn’t forget. He didn’t forget about what you wished
for last year or ten years ago. He didn’t forget about the nights you cried to
Him because you didn’t have anyone else. He knows what’s in your heart.
The truth is, God will not always
give you what you ask for no matter how hard you pray or what kind of prayer
you use. He won’t always make things easy for you. He won’t give you things
just because you’re nagging or begging. Because He knows what’s truly in your
heart, He knows what’s best for you. He knows what your heart needs not what
your heart wants. He knows what will heal your heart forever not temporarily.
He knows what will soften your heart. He knows your heart more than you do. God
wants you to know that, at the end of the day, your heart is in His hands. It
belongs to Him. So you can beat around the bush, pretend like He doesn’t
already know, read all the prayers you can find but it won’t change His mind.
It won’t alter His plan. It won’t persuade Him that your plan is better.
Maybe God doesn’t want you to say
everything out loud, maybe He just wants you to have faith in His silence. In
the moments when you feel like He’s absent. In the days when you can’t get out
of bed because life doesn’t make sense. In the nights when you can’t sleep
because your heart is heavy. In the weeks or months when you feel dead inside
because you can’t remember the last something made you feel alive.
Maybe it’s not so much about what we
tell God but more about what He’s trying to tell us. Maybe we’re too busy
talking and telling Him what we need that we forget to step back and listen to
His answers, watch how our lives unfold and look for the signs He’s sending us.
Maybe we find God more in silence,
when we don’t know what to say, when we can’t express how we feel, when the
world just ceases to make sense, that’s when we feel most connected to Him.
When we trust Him to heal our hearts because we know for sure that if we leave
it up to Him, He won’t break our hearts.
-thought catalog
God Bless Us..
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