There is no EGG in EGGPLANT nor a HAM in HAMBURGER; neither APPLE
nor PINE in PINEAPPLE. MUFFINS
weren’t invented in ENGLAND. QUICKSAND can work slowly, BOXING RINGS are
SQUARE, and a GUINEA PIG is nether from GUINEA
nor it is a PIG.
And why it is that WRITERS write but FINGERS don’t FING. GROCERS don’t GROCE and HAMMERS don’t HAM? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can
make AMENDS but not one AMEND? If TEACHERS taught why didn’t PREACHERS
praught? If a VEGETARIAN eats
vegetables, what does a HUMANITARIAN
eat?
In what other language do people
recite at play and play at a recital? We ship by TRUCK but send cargo by SHIP.
We have NOSES that run and FEET that smell. We PARK in DRIVEWAY and DRIVE in a PARKWAY. And how can a SLIM CHANCE and FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and WISE GUY
are opposites?
You have to marvel at the UNIQUE LUNACY of the language in which
your HOUSE can BURN UP as it burns down, which you FILL IN a form by FILLING IT
OUT, and which an ALARM goes OFF by going ON! And IN CLOSING, if
father POP how come mother’s not MOP?
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