“Be devoted to one another in
brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
“Why I am afraid to tell you, what I
really think and feel? I’m afraid you will reject me. Because being accepted is
very important to me so I put up a front to make you think I am something I’m
not. And the hypocrisy makes it very difficult for us to relate to each other
as people.”
Few men understand that what women
most want out of marriage is intimacy. I’m talking about opening your heart and
letting the person closest to you know what lies within – the dungeons of fear
and feelings of incompetence that are there.
What are the keys to this kind of
intimacy?
First: DEEP COMMUNICATION. This means
that you men must go beyond the factual level of communication to what your
wife describes as emotions and feelings.
Second: VULNERABILITY. You’ve got to
overcome the risk attached to being yourself. God knows you and loves you as
you are and when one person really loves another, that love extends to ideas
and concepts which may be different.
Third: ACCEPTANCE WITHOUT CENSURE.
Love is unconditional and is has no strings attached.
Fourth: ABSOLUTE HONESTY. I was asked
why I said my wife was my best counselor. I replied, “Because she balances love
with absolute honesty.”
Fifth: SENSITIVITY. Intimacy demands
that you pick up the nonverbal signals and give the other person the freedom to
elaborate on what he or she is suggesting.
Sixth: CONFIDENTIALITY. Nothing
destroys trust more that betraying it. Some things should forever be kept in
the drawer of your memory.
God Bless Us..
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