As a Pastor, I’m still
surprised to know that there are still people who got affected by my last
failed relationship. (It’s been a year tho) it bring me to so much grief that
they can’t trust me fully. (Well not much of a big deal for me).
I used to preach about
“Waiting for the Right Time” but I failed them big time.
For the last time, I want
to apologize for those people whom I preached about choosing the right person
yet I didn’t choose one. To pray hard before saying yes to forever, I did but I
guess my best wasn’t good enough. To decide to love whatever it takes but I
gave up.
Even I, I don’t understand
why God allowed that failure. Yes, I messed up big time. It will be a forever
mark of failure in my life. Hindi ko na yun maaalis sa buhay ko. God knows, I
suffered from trauma, “What if I’ll fail again?” And I’m still paying some
consequences of my wrong decisions.
But believe me, I’ve
learned BIG TIME. I’ve learned that God’s love is even bigger than my failure.
I’ve learned that even ministers are bound to fail as well. I’ve learned to see
saan ako nagkamali and be wise enough to make things right. I’ve learned to
admit my mistake. I’ve learned to humble down and trust again. I’ve learned to
share my learnings so people won’t commit another mistakes. I’ve learned to see
the beauty of failure. I’ve learned to move on and simply forgive myself. And
most importantly, I’ve learned to apologize and just in case I’ll fail again,
I’m so sorry in advance.
Paulit-ulit akong
magso-sorry at babangon hanggang sa maging tama ang lahat.
At the end of the day, I
failed but I’m not a failure.
“If satan reminds you of
your past, remind him of his future.”
“Walang madilim na
nakaraan sa maliwanag na bukas.”
Cheer guys!
-Pastora Lovely Santiago
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